(German title almost rhymes 😉 )
There is this idea of dividing the female cycle into four phases, which are then elegantly illustrated by the “four inner seasons”.
If you look at the hormonal fluctuations on a graph, e.g. on Wikipedia (keyword: menstrual cycle), and one reads that estradiol (an estrogen) level varies by 200% and progesterone even by 1200% within a cycle , then it’s really no wonder that you can feel very different as the cycle progresses. Before I came across the “inner seasons”, I had already noticed that I sometimes find myself particularly beautiful and that sometimes I am very irritable before my period begins, but that there is also “spring”, a phase in which you are bursting with energy , I hadn’t noticed. So I took the trouble to create a menstrual calendar (it’s also available as an app, but I didn’t want to share my data with somebody, so I just put it all on paper). I not only wrote down when I was bleeding, but also added other symbols: a muscle arm when I was feeling particularly energetic, a heart when I was feeling sexy, a smiling face when I liked people, and a lightning bolt when I was very irritable . And indeed, a pattern arose. The characteristics of these phases also seem to agree, at least in large part, with those of other women. The female cycle is much more than just the monthly bleeding. Within a month, every month, we experience, figuratively speaking, the ups and downs of a whole year! 😉
The four inner seasons
The inner winter: rest and regeneration
Period: The days of menstruation
Marked by: Discomfort, pain, but also mental balance
Time for: relaxation, self-care, taking it easy.
Caution: Don’t think you’re lazy just because you’re taking the rest you need.
The inner spring: new beginnings
Period: The first days after menstruation
Marked by: I can do anything!-mentality, lots of energy and optimism
Time for: doing things that require more energy; trying something new.
Be careful: you can overload yourself.
The Inner Summer: Climax
Period: The days around ovulation, mid-cycle
Marked by: Let’s all be friends!-mentality, and “Woah, do I look good!”
Time for: socializing, activities, sex
Caution: the giving mood may tempt you to be more generous than is good for you
The inner autumn: cocooning
Period: After ovulation until the onset of menstruation
Marked by: The whole world is stupid!-mentality, “everyone leave me alone”, increased appetite
Time for: chocolate and distraction, preferably alone.
Caution: Other people are probably not that stupid, don’t judge too quickly.
Go with the flow: use the seasons to your advantage
Of course, not only hormones have an impact on how we feel and how much energy is available to us. Quality and quantity of sleep (parents know what I’m talking about), diet, exercise, illnesses, events, etc. also play a role. And you can also be in a bad mood in spring, feel great in autumn, or feel particularly beautiful in winter. But the probability of one or the other may be higher or lower depending on the inner season. Then the knowledge that not only menstruation repeats itself every month, but also other phases that are influenced by the ups and downs of hormones, is not just interesting, but can also be useful. Because then we can work with our moods, needs and strengths instead of fighting against them. For example:
1. If there are things that I like to put off, then I try to get them done in the first week after my menstruation, because in spring it is particularly easy for me to make decisions and get things done. During this time I can do everything anyway 😀
2. I maintain social contacts particularly well in “summer”, because then I feel especially comfortable in social contexts and enjoy being with other people much more than usual. It hardly costs me any energy and gives me a lot of energy back instead. In summer I mutate into an extrovert 😀
3. When I notice that I’m easily irritated and I see everything a little more negatively than usual (to put it mildly), then I avoid social interactions as much as possible. They cost me a lot of energy during this phase and I can use this time better by doing things that give me energy back. For example writing. And I distract myself when I find that negative thought spirals or sad memories drag me down, instead of pursuing them. I know this phase will pass and I just have to make sure I make it as comfortable as possible. Including feasting, of course.
4. Especially on the first days of my menstruation, I usually feel uncomfortable and lack energy. I accept that and don’t desperately try to maintain the energy level of the other weeks. I take it easy and put off things that aren’t essential until spring. Instead, I make myself comfortable and put my feet up (as much as I can).
Timing matters
I recently went climbing with my husband in a climbing forest. While I really enjoyed it the times before, I couldn’t enjoy it at all then. My thoughts went something like “How secure is the equipment? What happens if I do something wrong and fall down? What is so great about climbing around so high up anyway? Why are we doing this to ourselves? Does everyone else really like it, or are we all pretending to enjoy it?” I wondered why I was so negative now when I used to enjoy it so much before. It occurred to me that I was about to have my period and then I knew that today was simply the wrong day for adventure and being around people. What I wanted was to be alone with a good book and something to eat. I didn’t want to be attached to a cable car. I dropped it and made a mental note to schedule these “adventures” on my inner spring or summer, if possible, to get the most fun out of it. And I knew that I didn’t have to draw any general conclusions like “climbing is not for me”, but understood that my current phase required different things.
Not every woman will notice these phases in herself. Those who take the pill do not have these hormone fluctuations and are “only” influenced by other everyday factors (and the hormones of the pill of course). And others generally don’t notice the fluctuations so much. But for those who do perceive them, it can certainly be interesting and useful to know that there are fluctuations and therefore phases in which needs and strengths change. They can take them into account and use them accordingly. Fortunately, we are not helplessly at the mercy of our hormones, and women can get things done and think rationally despite a lack of drive or a bad mood. But we can sometimes make our lives easier if we plan activities, appointments, meetings, rest breaks, etc. according to our cycle and not think that we have to be energetic, friendly, and sexy every day of the month, and we should schedule time for ourselves to recharge.
Snowdrop or Sunflower?
I look forward to a time when women/people who menstruate will greet each other and say:
“And? What season are you in?”
-“Autumn!”
“OK! Let’s postpone going out. Shall we snuggle up on the couch and eat some cake?”
-“That’s exactly what I need right now!”
Or:
“I’m in spring!”
-“Great, let’s try something new!”
“Yeah!”
Maybe you’re now intrigued to find out what your spring, summer, fall and winter look like; to learn what you like and need in these phases; to distance yourself from other things; and to just work with the fluctuations instead of against them. And if you are a man, give the menstruating women/people in your life the space to do just that.
Yours,
RE,
who is in autumn right now, had to pull herself together all day, is finally alone and is now taking a deep breath. I´m almost looking forward to winter… 😉